Reality Bites

I think I have been in La-La Land for a few months...ok since around May.  My complete and utter turnaround following some intense plasmapharesis back in April made me feel invincible, like this whole ugly mess was a part of the very distant past with only the stretch marks along my calf muscles to remind me of the horridly obscene swelling that wracked my body.  I've been living in denial as I cheerfully stated "discontinued" during my ever dwindling list of medications at doctor visits.  My numbers continued to get better and better as I slowly tapered from 4 to 3 to 2 to 1 immunosuppressant.  Then I continued along and made it to half dose of my final med in December and got the call before Christmas Eve that my latest set of numbers showed protein loss of 12mg!  To put this into prospective, I peaked at 28,000mg, and for this test anything below 30mg is T-totally spot on normal.  It is amazing how wonderful the word normal can feel once your life as become anything but normal.

Then the start of the New Year rolled around, and I could tell that something was a little off.  I got a little sinus infection that wiped me out for two whole days and left me feeling drained the rest of the week.  Then I noticed that my boots weren't fitting quite right.  I checked, and I'd gained 5lbs in just a couple days!  Talk about flashbacks to a really bad trip.  I panicked, failed an at home dipstick, and stopped by the lab first thing the next morning for some real numbers.  I had shot up to 208mg of protein between Dec 19 and Jan 9.  I doubled my current dose of meds, waited out the weekend, and headed back to the lab on Monday.  No joy...now I was up above 600mg.  Just like that and I'm back on 6mg of Prograff and 40mg of Prednisone.

I'll admit that I buried my head for a day or two and felt quite sorry for myself.  It is time to move on though.  I have chronic kidney disease, and that is the reality of the situation.  While it would have been wonderful to go directly to the drug free phrase and forget this all happened, it doesn't look like that is going to be my route.  And honestly I'm ok with that.  I've knocked it down once, and I'm ready to do it again.

So here I sit...back to reality as much as it sucks.  Just keeping on keeping on...